GRRRRRR......................

I hate this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I feel like all I'm doing is setting myself up for failure by trying to lose weight and look a certain way.  I know that I will never be a tiny, but the sad part is I keep trying to have the image in my head that I will be that small but I know that I wont!  I tell people that but the hardest part is trying to convince myself.  I think maybe me going on the Revolution might help.  UGH..........why is this so hard!  All I want to do is be negative but I know I should cut myself a break since I've lost some inches but still!  Why is this so hard?  I'm so frustrated at the moment!  The sad part is that this has been a life long battle with me and I just try to stay motivated.  Why is it so hard to lose the weight or inches but so easy to put it on?

Well I guess I have to be positive in some way, so here is this months measurements:

Weight-200 lbs (+4 lbs)
Bust-42" (same)
Waist-36" (same)
Hips-46" (-2")
Thighs-23" (-12")
Arms-16" (+2")


I've been contemplating for a while whether or not I should tell you all about this but then I realized that the more I'm honest with you on here the more I'm honest with myself.  Like I said before I'm not happy with where I am at entirely and I need to take responsibility for my actions and so here are the consequences.  Yes, I gained 4 lbs and I'm furious and extremely disappointed with myself at the moment.  As for the measurements I'm happy my boobs have stayed the same because to be honest, well, I LOVE MY GIRLS!  Well and also so does David, hahahaha!  (sorry to any of my family, but come on, we are married)  I'm thrilled about losing 2" off of my hips, to be honest my tightest work pants and jeans have been fitting a little better.  As for my thighs I'm more shocked than anything, I wasn't expecting that at all, but it does make sense.  My arms have always been a weak point so I'm not surprised, I'll have to work on it eventually.  Now to be more accountable for my actions here we go............I haven't been working out as much as I should of, drinking water has been very low, its been more soda than anything, and last but not least I've been eating more junk food and fast food than I have in a really long time.  I know bad Michelle!

So to turn this around I'm going to slowly try and change these bad habits into good ones.  First more water and less soda!  I've noticed lately at the gym that I feel more tired, worn out and not running as well as I used to, so while I was working out I noticed on the TV that it was saying that if you aren't drinking enough water you can be a little dehydrated which will hinder you in your work out!  So more WATER!

Goodnight everyone, thank you for reading this and supporting me in what ways you can, I do appreciate it!  Now to go wallow and try not to cry!